Do Women Have Nose Hair?

Nearly 14 years ago I married someone that I was madly in love with.  He had a black ponytail, flat stomach, great legs and a panther tattoo on his arm. He said he married me because I liked shots of straight Stolis.  He liked shots of Jagermeister (which I have never understood) but oh well.  He loved to stay up late, sleep in and eat dinner in front of the TV. When we went to bed at night, he always made sure to have some romantic music playing. One of my favorite bands is Crowded House and that was a CD he played for me as we went to sleep…or whatever.  An amazing time in my life; a love that I was sure would always be safe and sure.  I couldn’t imagine anything at all changing. Completely convinced that we’d be together forever and nothing would ever go wrong…I woke up each day relaxed and unafraid of what might happen to our love.

 I was so wrong.  I am still married to this man who I am deeply and madly in love with. But his stomach isn’t so flat and his ponytail has been replaced with a balding and graying buzzed haircut. The stereo has long since left our bedroom and we resort to the 10:00 news in bed rather than the 11:00 news on the couch. We each have our side of the bed.  He snores. I grind my teeth. He’s seen me put on pantyhose. Nothing is sacred anymore. He still has great legs and likes Jagermeister (which I still don’t understand), but we stay at home now instead of going out. We’re aging, growing up and that’s okay. Four children later, we look at each other over dinner and wish for a nap.  Our hippie days have been replaced with grown up decisions and 401K options.  We care about money, cars and schedules like never before.  We have to schedule time for togetherness now.

 When does romance leave? It doesn’t. We just have to be more deliberate about it. I watched a family having dinner at Cracker Barrel last week.  The “mom” and “dad” were so sad looking.  Flanked by a toddler in a booster chair and an older child in the other seat, their faces showed exhaustion and age.  When was the last time these two held hands or kissed for more than three seconds? When did they last laugh at each other or with each other?  When did they play their last cribbage game late at night with Letterman and REM keeping them company?

I don’t have much romance in my life either. I caught my love looking at me over the table the other night. I was hoping he’d tell me how wonderful I looked, or how much he loved me…but…Nnnooooo…he wanted to know if women have nose hair? He does, however, wash my car, keep the sink free from dishes and bathe the baby each night. Maybe not romance, but true love for sure. I’ll take that any day.

Go figure.