Colin Speaks

Colin has a language all his own sometimes…I swear!

There are a few things to keep in mind as you read through Colin Speaks. Aspies and others on the Autism Spectrum have a very different way of processing and regurgitating language. They also have an amazingly unique view of the world.

1. Colin is very pedantic in his speech. That means he enunciates each syllable precisely. Strangers comment on how “adult” he sounds.

2. His vocabulary is huge and uses words that many six-year-olds don’t know. (Not always correctly, mind you.)

3. He makes up his own words for things.

4. Aspies/AS kids tend to “parrott” what they hear in other people’s conversations and from television and radio.

5. The world is interpreted very, very literally. Sarcasm and teasing doesn’t usually make sense.

6. You CANNOT interrupt an Aspie in the middle of a sentence…they will go right back to the beginning and start over. They tend to go on and on and on and on about whatever topic they are discussing and if you glaze over, they’ll start back at the beginning again.
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“I love you very much Mom.”
me: “I LOVE YOU TOO!!!! VERY MUCH!”
him: “How much is more than that? A trillion times?”
me” “Yes, and I love you a trillion times.”
HIM: “Well…I love you THREE TIMES A TRILLION!!”

(first time he’s spontanteously told me he loved me…and how!)…May 12, 2010

__________________________________________________________

“If one billion has nine zeroes, and one million has six zeroes and one thousand has three zeroes, why does one hundred have two zeroes? Shouldn’t it have NO zeroes?” (YOU do the math!)

“Daddy, do dogs like mice? Cats don’t like mice, and dogs don’t like cats, but do dogs like mice?”

One day I got very mad after a phone call with the school. I was muttering and fuming around the house…*&#)@(*)#…and other angry comments. To which Colin replied:
“Don’t get mad! Get Glad!”

He sneezed, twice. I said “Bless you!”
He said, “But I sneezed twice, you have to say Bless You two times.”
I said, “Bless you! Bless you!”
He said, “No, Mommy! You have to say ‘Bless You Two Times.’ ”
I said, “Bless you two times!”
He said, “That’s better.”

“Daddy! You’re a Goofbagel!”

Him:”Mommy, please close the windows so the sun won’t shine on the tv, I can’t see.”
Me: “Buddy, closing the windows won’t help. They are clear and the sun will still shine in.”
Him: “Well, then would you Please Move the SUN!!”

Colin’s fine motor skills are a little delayed which is a source of much frustration!

“Mommy, Mrs. Schoenberger (KG teacher) has a wall with kids names on it that learn how to tie their shoes…The Shoe Tie Club…I hate that! I think she should have a Zip Jacket Club! I can do that one, finally.”

“It smells like Sunday…it’s Tuesday, but it smells like Sunday.”

Grocery shopping with this kid is a real treat! His love of mazes and maps has allowed him to memorize the location of every item in the store according to aisle number. A few weeks ago we were nearing the end of the shopping trip…
Me: “Oh, Colin, I forgot to get hand soap for your bathroom. We’ll have to go back and find it.”
Him: “It’s in Aisle 2, right next to the body wash.”
I thought the lady standing near us would fall over faint…she couldn’t stop gawking.

“Oh my god….oh my god…oh my god!!! My heart is beating so fast because my head is sooo excited!” (Upon hearing he’d get to spend the next afternoon with his bestest friend in the world.)

Smell my blanket…you’ll feel better.”

“MY MILK TASTES SOGGY!!!”
Well, duh.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Shivon
    Apr 28, 2010 @ 12:29:27

    “Mommy, Mrs. Schoenberger (KG teacher) has a wall with kids names on it that learn how to tie their shoes…The Shoe Tie Club…I hate that! I think she should have a Zip Jacket Club! I can do that one, finally.”

    This is fantastic!!!

    Reply

  2. Tracey
    May 12, 2010 @ 11:32:41

    Love the “Don’t get Mad…get Glad!” Talk about catchy advertising. My boyfriend’s son watches so much TV at 3 years old he recognized logos. One day they were on the bus and he saw and AD for ABC (tv) and goes “ABC.com Daddy”

    Reply

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