Here we go

My first blog entry on the road to further realization of what my life’s journey holds. I figure that if I can write for myself in a journal, then I should at some point be able to share that with others. My mother is sharing parts of her diary with me lately, and that is just fascinating to hear what she truly felt, saw and experienced when I was a child.

I want to chronicle here my intentional walk with my God and the steps I am taking along with my husband and children toward a deeper knowledge of who He is in my life. How can I learn to know myself well, when my creator is a stranger to me? So, my husband and I are now getting up before the rest of our household to have prayer together each day. For each other, our family and our work, we pray a blessing. We then read through the morning office of the Divine Hours and complete our fifteen minutes together before he heads off to work. I have found my day to go more smoothly since we started. Not that things are changing around me, but within me. I handle things differently knowing that I launched the morning with a dedication of the day to God, and that has kept me more grounded and more accountable for what my thoughts and actions are. I am more sleepy though, so I need to work on that a bit!

I am trying to discern what direction my life should take. I have been a freelance writer for many years and only now am beginning to earn a small (very small) monthly paycheck from one or two places. I need to contribute to household expenses, but need to stay home to do so. I have also started an eBay selling life…and am having a fantastic time doing that. It’s a fairly easy and safe way to unwind and make a few bucks and enjoy something outside of anything else I have ever done. So…I am seeking to discern whether or not I should continue with these things and have faith that God will continue to bless them and bring more homebased freelance work my way…or do I go back to work as a nurse for a “real” paycheck. I have no peace about doing that yet, but the bills still come due.

My God, grant in me this day the patience to wait for what you have in store. The courage to quietly reflect and shut out the noise and hear you. The wisdom to know which voice to listen to and the energy to act on it. Thank you for who you are. You simply are.