Breathe…Baby…Breathe

Living with a child who has Asperger’s is like living with a football referee…or anyone who wants to control everyone around themselves. Tell people what to do, point out when they screw up and blow a whistle on any behavior that doesn’t jive with your world view.

Tonight I had four extra kids here while their mom went to a meeting. Lovely kids…close friends…but Colin totally wigged out cause I allowed them to play Mario Kart on the Wii, which is his domain and he is undoubtedly the expert in all things Mario.

Taking turns was tough, but they worked it out alone. We have only two Wii remotes and two Wii wheels, so Colin had to take turns with two others. The schedule of play they worked out was fair…”It’s a nice pattern, mom” he says.

However, he didn’t stop talking, advising, yelling, cadjoling or subtitling the whole event. Commentary included…
“NO!!! You messed up!”
“That’s great! Oh WOW!”
“Don’t go that way…you’re so stupid!”
“Gimme that…you don’t know what you’re doing!”

Here’s the conversation we had:

Me: “Babe, you can’t always tell people what to do. Let them play by themselves.”
Him: “But they don’t know how to do it!” Stomp feet…thrust fists down at sides.
Me: “They have fun anyway, it’s okay if they don’t win or if they mess up.”
Him: “But they are slow! They can’t do it right! They push the left button instead of the “A” button and the whole thing stops working!”
Me: “But that’s okay baby…they don’t care. It’s fun anyway.”
Him: “AAARRggghhh…..”

Here’s my imagined conversation:
Him: “Why won’t anyone listen to me? I know what I’m doing.”
Me: “We’ll listen, but won’t always do what you want.”
Him: “Why not”
Me: “Cause we all have different ways of doing things.”
Him: “But why…it’s dumb”
Me: “It’s how the world works buddy. Everyone does things and says things and sometimes we don’t like that…but you can’t always be right. Not about everything.”
Him: “But I AM RIGHT!!! ALWAYS!!!!”
Me: “No you’re not…Breathe, Baby, Breathe.”