Life is Not Fair

Change the subject for a minute.

My child’s heart was broken yesterday.  Shattered and torn apart.  Every room I walk into is littered with pieces of it and desperate as I am, I can’t clean them all up. He experienced first hand what discrimination and disappointment feel like. He felt real injustice for the first time.  That soul wrenching ache under a blanket of tears that confuses, confounds and defeats us when the world doesn’t spin exactly right. Punched in the gut and can’t breathe kind of crying.

His life was touched by grown ups acting like children. Grown ups who made seemingly insignificant decisions but impacted more than the basketball season.  They forever changed the way my son looks at his peers. I see the light of realization dawning in his eyes as he begins to understand that some people get what they want by being born in the right place to the right people.  Other people get what they want by smiling sweetly and making promises (sucking up) to others. Still others just simply bulldoze over smaller runts to get to the top.

Today at 2:40 I heard his trust fountain squeak shut a bit.  It’s not fair, it sucks, I don’t understand.  Squeak.

How do I explain the stupidity of selfishness to a child who, up until now, has trusted in equality?  How do I keep him from losing sight of his own integrity if he sees others get the big prizes by manipulation? How do I get him to accept defeat graciously if the adults in his life can’t get a grip on that? How do I make him feel better?

Yesterday, my son’s heart was dropped and shattered.  Today it’s mending but it will never quite fit the same again.

Yesterday he learned how tiny he is.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. steven.russell
    Nov 15, 2007 @ 02:45:31

    Just wanted to thank you for taking the time to stop by and read my blog and comment.

    Hope you had a good day!


  2. Leon
    Nov 15, 2007 @ 10:38:05

    It is indeed difficult to watch as the reality of life crashes into the pure hearted kids we love so much. This must be where the tendency for cynicism becomes deeply rooted in our beings.


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